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Fireworks On Deck
I'm a big fan of changing things up when they don't work - Houston wasn't working for a million and one reasons, so I got outta there. I'm a few hours up the road and while I'm not perfectly happy, I'm a hell of a lot better than I was.
It's so interesting walking around in my Clark Kent-ish persona and listening to people. A girl at work was talking about some sort of CNBC or what ever channel had some segment about escorts.
"Oh, the easy life! Those girls don't know shit about hard work!"
I adjusted my glasses and laughed to myself,not even bothering to give my two cents.
They really flipped on the domination girl they featured - "I can't imagine a man being turned on by that!!"
*grins wickedly* OH....but *I* can... then again, domination isn't a party favor, something I pull out of my chest of wonders. It's my LIFESTYLE. no heels or whips required, no yelling necessary.
I'm happily the proud dominant diva for a sweet lil' subbie boy - m is delightful and I've enjoyed showing him what the reality of domination is all about.
"The only woman...that makes me feel completely in sub space... even in broad daylight. I love this!"
Yes...it's got nothing to do with beating, hurting, or degrading you ...well, unless that's what you want *smirks*
It's about reminding you (sub man) what's important (me, my desires, and the rush of pleasure you feel fulfilling them)
My world is different - everything in it is set up for my happiness, and when that no longer is the case, it's time for a spring cleaning with the force of a thousand suns.
and desires don't center around the bedroom or the boardroom for me... we went to a D/s party and it was pretty casual... you had the instadommies trying to play like they're stopping traffic in 2009 barking orders and shit like that means something.
And there was a little Careerist domme and her sweet sub. He pulled out my chair, found something to prop my feet up (after talking with the host, natch), and asked me what drink I'd like and if there was anything else I needed. My cell phone (lost the crackberry, the sidekick suffered water injuries.. I'm on Virgin Mobile for a while and LOVING IT HARDCORE! full qwerty in the house! no contract and text messaging is a treat... but I digress) and charger went close by plugged in without me saying a word.
For me, that's just another day in the life of a dominant careerist bitch, but I'm just sayin'.
the instadommes were amazed because everything I got naturally, they had to yell and scream and wave a riding crop around. But of course, they're Much More Dominant (tm) because of their attire? Please.
The corsets and the stockings and the heels and all that shit is the icing... my happy dominant ass is the fucking CAKE and you came for the CAKE... all the icing in the world can't change the taste of a fucked up cake - real talk.
so i was having a blast while these girls were scowlin', pouting, and hollering... the host asked me if they were OK.
"Oh yeah...they're fine... they're trying to squeeze life out of stones, silly task if you ask me, but they're fine otherwise..."
one thing I've never understood came up with the instadommies... the dreaded "ZOMG! sex with a submissive?! how could you even DREAM OF IT... you'll lose all your dominance..."
Now wait a minute... I'm a lady first and foremost and everything in my little world IS for my pleasure, including HIM ... *all* of him to be honest with you ... I find it a little jarring that "icky icky penis omg omg get it away from me" has become some sort of badge of domination.
I thought ...a dominant woman, by definition, had a little more confidence than that. If you don't want to have sex with *your* sub fine ... but save the THat's Not OK (tm) for *your* lifestyle ... if you're passing up teh c0ckz0r, fine ... leaves ME more for the taking!
ANd oh yeah, I said that right - the taking, cos I'm out to get what I want, when I want. Hey... empirebuilding really takes it out of a girl... *smirks*
Yes, I know my updates are sporadic. But I figured on fireworks and bbq day when I'm celebrating this nation's independence ... why not give a little Zora update...
you know me...wandering, empirebuilding... oh yeah... and missing Billy Mays something *fierce*. I expressed a lot of what I was going to say in my Clark Kent mode, so ...I'll stay quiet here.
DC emailed me a while back, and I emailed back but haen't really spoken... I'm letting him do his thang, I'm busy doing my own... you know me... I don't really feel right doing that "uh...you haven't talked to me, what's th damn deal" shit ... my life is too casual for that... I figure my males know how to come home when they're ready ...
my best friend stopped last night and said, "You know...nobody does it like you!"
DAMN RIGHT. Been tryin' to tell y'all this for how long now? :) Keep it sexy today and make fireworks - lots of them! :) With my plans tonight with the boys... they might have to call the fire department on a girl...let the motherfucker burn, indeed!
Always a Diva,
Z
happy new year. yes indeed.
happy new year to ME. and you. and you. and oh yes, sexy in the back, happy new year to you too ;) call me! LOL!
I'm in a damn good mood -- I'm 21 years old, gonna be 22 in July and I'm rockin' and rollin', smiling and waving and playing my role like a shark! haha, I got called that the other day.
Yes, I'm aggressive, the kind of girl that hates sex unless it involves a little roughness, a little shock in the cereal, you know? I tend to rough 'em up so they know from the word go that this isn't a love story, it's a fuck story, and I'm here to get what I came for and sail out the door.
the new year's party was amazing -- my vanilla friend saw immediately why they call me a diva ... and a careerist bitch at the same time! I was mixing myself a rum and coke, waving at the hotties, seducing the host and her cute little friend, and talkin' business with the boys after the ball dropped.
yes, just about all at once. that's how I roll.
business is good. I got tons of JV offers, and some real estate ninjas that are going to help me learn what's going on... I have my ways about checkin' people's bullshit.
i got on the phone and started telling people about themselves... and they were like, "Damn, you do your homework."
i mean, when I say real estate, I mean targeted investing .. any Johnny or Janey with enough dead presidents in the bank can call themselves "in real estate" and that's not really where I'm at. I like the numbers side of it, doin' the math to make sure I'm in the clear.
that's what we do online -- the site I've got my eye on purchasing makes good money... and I'm going to do it with none of my own cash. :) good money -- x,xxx a month, and high digit in the first column, which got my attention. I'm playing it smooth and quiet for right now, because I don't love the site enough to marry it, I'm just interested.
a new year, but I'm the same old me, and I like it... why? cos I'm free now. I'm walkin' it right out the door Jan 31st... he doesn't like it, but that's what I'm going to do.
damn zora, breakin' her own rules. sorry boys, ya gotta have a car, ya gotta have a place to live (that isn't aka momma's house) and you gotta have independent income. not sayin' he's gotta be crazy like me and run a company, but he needs to be able to take care of himself.
funny. if i say that out loud in real space, i'm an evil golddigging bitch. sorry, I'm on a mission to be a self-made & self-paid millionaire for my 24th birthday - not into sugardaddies, cos far too many of those types think they're buyin' the cow and therefore in charge of the milk - fuck that.
just wanted to free think a moment here, that's what I'm known for I guess.
J is helping my turnaround like a fiend, and he's waiting for me to get back, so I probably ought to move along now :)
the hostess and the lawyerboy don't realize that I'm gainin' on their heels ... they live in a gorgeous section of Houston (the River Oaks / Upper Kirby area) .. I'm going to rock it like that someday :)
and we're out! keep it sexy while I'm gone y'all!
Love & Distance
Sh is my friend from way back when, like from late 2002. We had a lot in common, a passion for technology. Slowly but surely, we grew into close friends, talking until dawn, keeping in touch as I flitted from one place to another.
We have our opposites -- I'm a conservative, he's liberal (made Election 2008 *fun*, lemme tell ya), I think Bill Gates is a rockin' dude, whereas he wishes Bill Gates had never made software practically (oh man, the Microsoft hate astounds me)
Lately, I've just gotten tired of being the option rather than the priority. I don't feel like he really cares about me, and is just humoring me until something, someone better comes along. That's how I feel.
I love my best friends. I wish I had a closer connection to Sh, wish he could truly absorb my care & concern for him and use it to continously work on being a better person, just as I use J's love for me in that way.
What really wrecked our friendship, I think, were two things -- my complete breakdown due to Horrible Scary Relationship, where I LEFT all of them high and dry, friend wise and then came back expecting fo rhtings to be the same.
Second, I think it's my business. We agreed to be business partners, but I feel like I'm pulling teeth for him to do anything for the company. The money is exciting -- I just quoted a chick $3K for a salesletter gig, and she's seriously considering me cos she digs my work. But behind that money is a LOT of hard work, a lot of frustration, a lot of time spent trying to refine my process continously. I'm not the uber goddess of marketing, but I know quite a bit about the topic.
So if you're a newbie (like he is), don't you think it would be wise to pay attention when I'm trying to teach something?
I've made thousands with just a pen and a piece of paper and a provocative idea. That's where my passion is. I'd love to help him work with me and we both become wealthy together, but at this point, I feel like his extracurricular is more important than his core base.
We look at finances differently, and sometimes I feel like he makes impulsive decisions. If you can make impulsive life decisions, you can make impulsive *business* decisions.
He's not expressive -- how are you going to become a marketer when you cannot respond to the one person fighting hard to teach you what you need to do?
I just sort of gave up last night. We got into an argument about a very minute issue that he felt the need to lecture me on -- I'm sorry, I'm not a child and I temporarily suspended my college studies. If I want a lecture, I'll join a college course again.
and deep down, I love him so much. I try to put it into words, but I know it would just creep him out. I love the way his eyes light up when he's truly at peace. I enjoy hearing, watching him laugh. I enjoy the way he "gets" subjects he's trying to learn, because I see how the spirit of victory thaws his heart out.
My dream is to travel the world with my two best friends, to take on everything life has to offer. But I feel like the best thing to do at this point is to sever ties. I hate that. I don't want to leave, not because I feel like I'll be alone, but because I want him to do his absolute best, and I don't see anyone else in his life encouraging him on the way I do.
Sh has been through some crazy rough nasty times of mine - even though my temper has gone down quite a bit, I'm still stuck being bipolar, and my episodes still take a lot of energy for all parties involved.
But at the same time, it's also a matter of heat, kitchens, and exits, if you know what I mean. I'm not for the timid, but for the bold that know opportunity when they see it.
And now that I'm done ranting, I'm gonna grab my whistle and go play in traffic (literally, I'm a traffic cop today in SW Houston lol)
Over the Edge
Mm, I love men. That's probably why I wandered back into my fetish world - I enjoy what men do for me, I think it's part of my service fetish.
It's not in that traditional spend-money-on-meee type of way, though I've had that too. It tends to be, "What kind of leverage can you bring to my world?"
All my fetish darlings move me forward, not backward. I miss my sissy maid, who cleaned my Missouri home. I also miss my Canadian businessman who gave me pointers on how to speak and sell from the platform. That's a tipset that's going to make me *score big* in 2009, cos I have a venue right close by that's hungry for the knowledge I have.
I kinda went on the downlow for a while so I could figure out what to do with Zora. I mean, obviously I still answer to it, otherwise I wouldn't be here.
Mmm. Picked up a new darling who has been teaching me LETHAL NINJA TRICKS in direct response. I mean, I watched him flood his mailing list with hot hungry buyers in less than 30 minutes after he sent out a broadcast. Too cool, too fucking cool.
I'm not so much into getting money ... never been a golddigger, cos if you got a goldmine, that means I can go and get one too! I'm more into generating money, and men who can give me lights along the way are very enticing to me.
What's hilarious ... I remember in Missouri driving around with one of my Springfield business boys who was so enthralled with my stocking-covered thighs. He would talk business to me, while I pulled him deeper into his fetish world, his submissive nature.
He paused for a moment during a session where he was allowed to actually touch my hosiery (I usually don't allow men to just grab my stockings and play with them cos they tear 'em up and then I get pissy), and says without missing a beat, "You know, lady, you are very into something that is so easy for me to give, my Queen ... is there anything else I can offer you?"
30 years in his field, teaching me the ropes inbetween me trampling, crushing his spirits, and pushing him deeper down the submissive funnel, and he thinks what he's saying ISN'T VALUABLE TO ME. WTF?
One thing about being a young black female into older white men is that sometimes I think they think I'm bullshitting. "You don't really like us, get the fuck outta here."
Of course, I get mad and then I laugh my head off, "I enjoy y'all. Don't ask me why..."
Naturally, people assume I'm lookin' for a daddy...hell no, my daddy gave his heart, mind, and soul 24 years for his country, and I love him. Y'all older men are fun and par for the course ...
So then they ask me what I'm ultimately looking for ...
I don't really want more than a 15 year spread between me and Dream Guy, to be real with ya. At 24 (the year I plan to be countin' my millions haha), that means the max is 39. I like mid 30's to early 40's. Though, I've had 50 year old men run circles around me, energy wise!!
Ha, one email asked me to do my stream of consciousness posts again, those long lovely posts before the great blog reset ... ya got your wish.
I do need to get up from here ... I'm moving crowds on a microblogging platform and I need to funnel those lovelies into MY world. :)
As Lil' Wayne says, "a million here, a million there..." ;)
(the sweetie listens to hip hop, I think it's infecting me, even though I'm too classy to ever, ever be "hood" or "street", fuck that noise, I'm a motherfuckin' Careerist Diva)
OK. I'd sign off with something cool, but all I'm doin' is keeping business sexy, what can I say? ;)
I missed y'all so much. I'll try not to be gone too long.
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