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~Hangover Helper~
LOL.
I certainly do not act like I am in my 20's. Well okay....not usually. And I certainly canNOT recover from a night of indulging like I used to.
However I have to say....that if I decide to have one or three too many....or I get stupid and think shots are a FABULOUS idea (and maybe even buying the whole damn bar a round) I recover with Coconut Water. Not milk, and not the actual coconut...but the water you can buy. You can now find in anywhere.
It is an acquired taste. Like tequila. But it is amazing in how it makes you feel in general....but especially after a night out with the boys...or the girls...or for the girls who like girls after some Irish Car Bombs. ;)
In my 30's I would still like to think I can hang with the big dogs. But damn it I can't. So I can pretend...or bribe the bartender to make my drinks weak, my shots all water (money can buy it, trust me). And still...
Some Milk Thistle before ANY night, one drink or five (google it, it rockes). I drink Coconut water before, during (I leave it in my car) and after. I also put an Emergen-c packet in some before I go to bed and chow down on some crackers. (no greasy food for me that late).
Not sure why I am sharing....Facebook is boring me and my doggie is snoring like no man could ever wish...BUT....drive safe, drive sober and leave it to me to come up with the weirdest topics to blog about.
Website: http://www.vanessasue.com
 
~Holiday Hangover~
Not the alcoholic kind of hangover...this woman has zero time to down anything naughtier than a Baileys and Coffee or a wine spritzer on the holiday (and if you get drunk on either one of those you are just plain ass stupid).
I am talking about that "after-a-big-family-thing" feeling....you know. All the planning, the shopping, the anxiety. And then it's over and you have a mess and a half to clean up, your are beyond exhausted and your kids refuse to go to bed...out of spite, you begin to think.
So today I cleaned....and vacuumed. Then I checked my Facebook. A billion times, that's usual. Then I did more cleaning and dusting. And then I decided to hide about twelve unboxed toys under my son's bed for some crappy Chicago winter day in the future. Those days where they need something more than the Nick Jr channel. Days where he is begging to go on the trampoline outside when there is two inches of snow, a wind chill of 1 degree below zero, and a mom that knows better than to try it.
So am I smart or lazy?
Ehhh....I am most definitely a mixture of the two. I am a single mom remember? ;)
Regardless ~~~
I hope everyone had an amazing holiday ~~ and ate and drank like the piggies we should be when surrounded by great food and great love. (I upped my cardio this morning because of the damn cookies I made!!!). I refuse to own a scale, I just know my weight from the way my pants fit and my often distorted reflection (yeah, I have issues).
Looking for a few new friends this New Year ~~ if you are interested send me and email.
But have some hugs and kisses from me! Love yourself, love your friends, love your family ~~ and always be you.....that's what this is all about. xoxo
~Halloween and the Sexy Single Lady~
So it's a couple weeks until Halloween festivities and I am clueless as to what I want to dress up as. It's past eleven on a Friday and I am trolling the internet trying to get one simple idea...and nothing.
I mean, I don't want anything too sexy....because after 30 that just fucking screams "trying to hard". I don't want it to be anything too trendy....because I just feel like I couldn't live with myself if I dressed up as Snooki or Lady Gaga. I don't want to be a green M&M or a pink Crayola or some kind of blasphemous nun (even though I have some boots that could ROCK the latter). Pirates are played out, sexy convicts feel like a Cinemax movie and being a sexy witch would be...well, just being myself. ;) And just a big UGH for sexy cops. I love me a man in uniform...but slutty cops look like slutty convicts....they all belong on Skinemax and that's it.
I also have to keep in mind that I want to wear this to a couple occasions....not just one where I can get my stripper glitter and Vodka & Diet Coke (aka Skinny Bitch) spilled all over it and toss it in the "I wish I could remember that night" pile.
I was thinking Corpse Bride but that just seems a bit...well...cold. LOL.
Cowgirl? I keep seeing acronyms like RCG or RCGTC and all that shit in my head.
Cheerleader? Yeah, that can rock the stage at my age (I am a poet, haha!)...the lights are so forgiving. But no way could I brave that without pre-gaming with some Everclear.
School Girl. No one over 21 should EVER, EVER try that outside of the bedroom.
So, out of all the no's I there is one that DID strike me is being some vixen starlet from the '50's...like some vampy black wiggle dress, matte red lipstick, cigarette holder and some I-know-you-want-to-fuck me black slingback heels. THAT is a definite possibility.
My sexy little Mustang (yeah...NO..it isn't sexy, but it IS a Mustang and it is fast as hell...and that's sexy to me!) had an issue yesterday so it set me back a bit....so...I am going to browse some local Goodwill stores and fire up my Amazing POS sewing machine and see what we all can come up with.
Happy Costume Hunting ~~~
~Bewitching Month~
It's Spooky Movie Month ~~ October!
There is NO better reason then THIS to be in your ex-boyfriends boxers and a sports bra, holding a glass of white wine while watching something so sinfully stupid and greatfully gory.
(Greatfully? Yuck ~~ my online thesaurus is down so I gotta do what I gotta do).
So...I am finishing up a few things on my amazingly crappy laptop and felt like sharing a few useless facts I have come across in my insanely busy life which I am sure will at least slightly retain your interest for a few moments:
(did ya get all that? My ENG101 teacher would be strangling me right about now)
~ Those new Velveeta Dinners f*cking ROCK. I am a busy mom, I get burnt out when it comes to making dinner. And they were on a two-for-one sale. It was like lap dances! How could I lose!!
~ People who make fun of boxed wine has never had it. Or appreciated it. Or been broke enough to realize that is all they can afford.
~ Victoria's Secret smells like a goddamn strip club's locker room. There is a reason why I order online even though the store is literally a minute from my home.
~ An insecure man is LESS attractive than an impotent one.
~ Indian Summer is only amazing for people without allergies.
~ Male strippers are only a novelty for bachelorette parties and to piss other men off.
~ If it wasn't for Reality TV I would never know how sane I am. Or aren't. Depends on the show.
~ A DVR, a vibrator and an unlimited supply of wine can be a sensible substitute for a man.
~ Searching threesomes on some porn websites will get you a whole lotta sh*t you cannot unsee. And I can dig it...but seriously, way too many c*cks in the henhouse if you know what I mean....
~ My posting right here will probably get me a bunch of effing hate email in the morning.
Ehhh....so what else is new?
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