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My PHD in hooking Chapter 5
VIPS read on!
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What do I tell my family ? What do I tell my friends? How do I hide it ?
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Why worry ? Are they the ones paying your bills and supporting you in life ? Will they put you through school? Fuck em ! Give em the answers they want to hear !
(For the career girl:
You have a job already ? A career. Some other form of income. Well, thats how you hide it !)But those of you that don't work..Theres some for you here as well.
1- I bought this off of my friend at work that's moving out of town, really cheap!
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2- I bought my Gucci purse at a garage sale ! Can ya believe it ?
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3- Where did I get my new car ? I went to a police auction and it was a steal !!
A- I leased it, it's only 150 a month
B- Its through my company
C- Well you are fucking nosey aren't you?
4- Why do you go to the ob/gyn and get std testing all the time ?
A- to be healthy
B- Cancer runs in my family
C- I was with your man 2 years ago
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5- What do you mean I can't afford my own house ? It's alot cheaper than me paying rent. Besides, I'm a first time homeowner. I get many perks ! I've been saving for a house forever and my closing was only 3500.00. I'm really broke now, can I borrow some money ? ( And don't pay them back. They need to pay for being so nosey )
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6- Why do I go to the gym ??
A- Because, hey, Im not no spring chicken anymore and they have a great special!
B- I want to keep in shape !
C- I dont want to end up like you!!!
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7- Thank you for the compliment on my nails- They arent expensive, only 20 bucks, wanna go with me next time? It looks like you have a weeks work of lunchmeat under those thing
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8- I just found this couch out at the curb in ( richest suburb.) Its amazing the amount of money people make and just throw it away ! :)
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9- Why do you question me all the time on my money ? For the love of fruitloops, do you think I am a hooker or something ???? ;)
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10- My new laptop was only 500 from Dell.
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11- I just got a new credit card !
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12- I've been traveling alot lately because I'm thinking of moving out of this damn state ! There isn't anything for me.
A- Because I've never traveled before and AAA and Priceline make it cheap
B- My work sends me to do interviews and seminars
C- Are You jealous cause your broke ass can't travel?
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13- I don't answer my phone when you are around because I Hate interuptions !
A- I keep getting these prank calls and they are annoying
B- They are asking for Habeeb who used to have this number
C- You haven't answered your phone lately either Mother Fucker :)
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14- Who was that man that just left your house ?
My private hitman. I just put a contract out on someone. ( make sure ya give a grin and cross your eyes)
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15- How come you always have so much cash laying around ?
A- Im changing banks and still haven't found a good one
B- Im baiting you to see if ya steal it !
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16- Why is it you have so many boyfriends and never settle down ?
- Cause I don't want to be a parasite like you and live off of my spouse.
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17- Why are you always out at night ?
(smart ass attitude) Cause I'm fucking 8 men a night. Jesus, what it's to ya?
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18- You look like one of those girls on the internet escort sites !
Wow-She must make alot of Money !!
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19- Im always whispering cause I'm trying to get your wife to leave you and get into the biz !
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20-I am always on the computer because
- Im teaching myself some new things to get a job promotion
- Because its mine, Im grown, and I can
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21- Children, Please do not ask me where I am going. I am the parent and you are the child.
Now eat your soup like Good children or no college educations for you. You can move to the left of the welfare line.
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This is the word of Ciara,
Amen
Today's soup of the day is-
Souperior!
Chapter 5 Myths
 
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