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Final Blog
Dear Friends,
As I alluded to before, I have been celibate (no intercourse) since late July of 2006.
To be completely forthcoming though, the last time I was intimate in anyway (still no intercourse) was April. He was a hot dude from a band I love. yummy!!
Nontheless, I no longer promote or participate in the sex industry on any level.
However, my experiences taught me alot about who I am and who I need to be.
Who I need to be is someone who does not promote the female sex organ; The Vagina but instead promotes the sex organ called; The Brain.
I do not necessarily think that my foray into the sex industry was a mistake.
I hope that perhaps I was meant to do that to attract more people to hear the messages I will have to communicate, especially in the future.
I don't believe that "preaching to the choir" is very effective.
So now I have a audience that others may not be able to reach.
I think it's all in God's plan for me.
For those wondering if perhaps I met a significant other and that is why I resigned. The answer is; not exactly.
Currently, I'm in a relationship, with myself. It's the best damned relationship I've ever had. Right now I don't want to share myself with anyone else cause I am being selfish. I cherish the time I have alone with myself. It's the best.
The real reason I left the sex industry is because I felt it lowered my self esteem. I never enjoyed having sex with men on camera and stopped enjoying sex with strangers quite some time ago.
I believe that continuing to have sex for money considering the above statement, reduced me to feeling less than a human being. I enjoy sex only with people who I am attracted to and love and reciprocal.
Like many others on this board, I am a very intelligent person and I've decided not to work in a blue collar industry anymore, thus I've chosen to pursue a white collar career.
With God's help, that is the path I have chosen to take.
Bye Friends. I'll be reading. But no longer writing.
Vicki
Over 50 lbs gone, less than 100 lbs left to lose
so today was the first day of filming on my documentary “Obese plus size model to fitness competitor”
and also the first time I’ve ever been to a bodybuilding/fitness/figure competition
The NPC Arizona Open was held in Chandler, AZ.
I went to cheer on Shanna, a heavy weight bodybuilder I met on myspace.
me and the cute cameraman drove up to chandler in my lil car, lol
it was AMAZING!! so surreal to see this competition live, I’ve been reading about these competitions for over 15 years!! Really really surreal to actually see one .
I wore a wireless mic pinned to my shirt and we had a MEDIA pass so I was able to go backstage and chat with the competitors and judges
I had the only professional camera guy there, although there were several professional photographers and other media, and it was funny cause alot of relatives of the competitors kept asking my camera guy if he would sell them footage
haha i told him that he should start a side career of doing that at these competitions
he said it would be like torture for him, he thought it all looked so unhealthy and degrading, lol, so funny
it IS a really really long show, i mean the prejudging started in the MORNING and we got there at like 5:45 pm and when we left at like 11:30 pm, the competition wasn’t even over, there was more men to be judged, i was too tired, i was like “after the final women’s judging I am OUT OF HERE”
I know the competitors HAD to be tired, hehe , they couldn’t drink water and hadn’t eaten decently and all that, they must’ve been just weak, lol, some looked like they were going to pass out, there eyes were glossing over
not shanna though, she is awesome, amazing energy and personality on that chick!! you’ll see when the documentary is edited, she rocks and she won in the heavy weight division, yaaay, go SHANNA!!
so awesome that he got my reaction to EVERYTHING on video, i am really happy to have this documented and so excited to have this journey documented as well, it will be about a year in the making although in about 6 months we’re going to shop it around to reality TV production companies.
we will be uploading clips of it to youtube and I’ll have it on my bodybuilding.com and vickinicole.com website as well
OMG I am sooo wanting to go watch the USA Nationals in Vegas in 4 weeks now, I am addicted.
After the competition I was sooo pumped up, after doing my post interview and after he left, i tried doing some of the poses I saw at the competition, lol, it’s horrible, I have all fat and no muscle but here’s one of the pics of me “trying” to do a front double bicep pose, check it out, it’s hilarious.
I'm alright in bed, but I'm better with a pen
yowzers,
a girl recommended the couch to 5 K program
i am currently on week 2 of it
dang I cannot breathe
that and my weight training I am sooo sore
um so i found out i havent been eating as nutritiously as is considered healthy, apparently i don't eat enough dairy, grains and fat
so now my current delima and thoughts are how to get all the recommended servings of every food group into my daily diet without eating too many calories because I still need to keep losing 2lbs. a week (45lbs. lost to date)
also summer school started last tuesday
-PUBLIC SPEAKING
- MATH (again)
yeck!!
tooo much green to feel blue, hahah my job is great
still no sex,
heh, no time
gotta go to bed, i'm already late for bed and that usually means I will be late waking up which means I will have to shorten my morning workout
argh
not enough time, i think we should all vote to readjust the amount of hours in a day to like 26 hours a day instead of 24. That would be soo helpful and I would really appreicate it if one of you can get that onto a federal ballot,
thanks
all my love,
vicki
True Story
Just thought the following picture is not only fitting and true of my sexual status but quite ironic when posted on this particular blog
lol
Website: http://www.someecards.com/
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