I want to hire you...
I JUST now hung up from this phone call, and my first thought was "BLOG IT!".
Same name and number were on my phone's call log several times today, so when it rang just now I thought "Well, he must just be eager".
Him: Yes, yes hello?
Me: Yes, can I help you?
Him: I need to hire you, for my son.
Me, thinking "that figures": You want to WHAT?
Him: I need to hire you for my son, he is in 6th grade.
Me, thinking "Holy f*cking shit!": You WHAT? He's in WHAT?
Him, in very serious tone, with sound of kid in background: I need English tutor for summer, for my son. I saw your ad.
Me: Sorry, but I am NOT an English tutor.
Him: Math? You do math? He needs math, too.
Me: I teach a lot of things, but not math or English. You have the wrong number, sorry.
Deer Mizter ThugN
Dig on yo website fo sho. U iz a hot azz bitch n eye want 2 tap dat. Hit me up n letz talk. I wan 2 party wit u girl n eye gotz da green 2 do so!
Dear Mr. ThugN -
Thanks foh the email, fa shizzle.
However, in future, I'd prefer if you refer to the chart below before emailing me. It should amply illustrate my feelings on 'gangsta' language, and explain why I am:
a) laughing at the thought of meeting you
b) deleting your email now that I'm done mocking it publicly
c) convinced that you are a 12 year old boy
When Life Gives You Lemons.. Oh, screw that. Lemons suck.
I'm very sorry, but I've had to cancel my tour to Chicago, New York and Long Island.
With everything that's going, I don't really know how long it will be before I can attempt another visit.
I absolutely HATE canceling tours, because I'm sure that it makes me look like a flake. Trust me, I'm not - if I cancel plans, it's because I've had a pretty compelling reason to do so, and this one is more compelling than most.
On the plus side, having to stick around near home means I am going to be able to offer some Toronto incall days.
I'll likely be available next week, in downtown... but don't hold me to it just yet.
S&M pheromones...and a trip to the west coast
Driving alongside the lake, dogs in tow, I was passed by a gentleman of a certain age, driving a convertible of a certain price range, with a license plate that read:
I BEG 4 IT
Never have I been more tempted to pull up next to someone and toss them one of my fetish business cards.
This reminds me of the time I was wandering around Chapters (the Canadian version of Barnes and Noble), in typical 'off work' fashion (messy hair, no make up, geek grrl glasses). I also happened to be wearing a t shirt that reads "Miss Behave".
A grinning, dapper fellow in his seventies approached me and asked, with a mischievous grin, "So Miss - do you want to make me behave?". I laughed and said it was certainly possible, and bandied something back about 'Did he commonly approach strange women and ask to be disciplined?', to which he replied 'Only ones I think will understand what I mean..'. I gave him my web address, and he turned up two weeks later, wearing his own set of custom crafted ball weights.
It's funny the cues that those of us who play pick up on, or give off.
On my recent train trip to Boston, I ended up being approached by the world's most annoying submissive, who proceeded to pester the living crap out of me until the nice train conductor finally told him to beat it, or he'd beat him.
Said subby responded with "Oooh, a duo. THAT I'd really enjoy".
Sometimes I think I give off Domina pheromones, which is odd, because in civvies I'm the least Domme looking person around.
It guess it really is more about the attitude than it is about the clothes...
ps: I think I'm going to Las Vegas the end of June, with maybe a swing trip into LA afterwards. Whee, west coast debauchery, here I come!