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How to contact an escort
Boy, I've heard it all. The worst of the worst when it comes to emails and phone calls that men make to escorts.
I'm guessing that they don't read these blogs, so this effort is probably a waste of my time. But, I have half a glass of Glenlevit to finish, and I might as well hope that one newbie reads this.
It's so depressing I'm not sure where to start.
We all get notes like this:
" if r u ready for strat sex with a 21 yr guy? call me, 555-1212"
Eeegads!!! That just makes me wince in pain and embarrassment.
First, and foremost, spelling counts. Grammar, punctuation count. Manners count. Really, they do.
I know some of the young girls don't give a crap, but if you are looking for quality and someone with some amount of intelligence, or someone for a dinner date, well, she won't answer that email. If she does, I question her standards.
If you email a lady, you should meet basic requirements: introduce yourself, give some information, and be polite. Here is a nice example:
"Hi Lexy! My name is Joe, I'm a 34 year old, white male. I have seen Suzy Q from Atlanta before, and I'd love to meet with you. Just let me know what you need in order to do that."
Even better, is if you note that you've actually read my website. Now, I know that most men don't actually have the patience or time to really read my website. But those who do, invariably, make the very best clients. They know what they want, what they like, what they are looking for, and they take the time to decide if I, or anyone, meets their needs. I like that.
The reason it's good to read a website, regardless of how wordy it might seem, is that sometimes clues are hidden there for clients. Clues like "no daty", or "no greek speak". So I don't have to disappoint you when you show up and try to dive into my special place, I don't have to push back your head with my foot and inform you that on my website, it clearly states, within the prose, that I don't allow that.
But, I get tons of emails with photos of weenies, hard, soft, hanging, held up, held down, pulled out, pulled up, close up, long shots, you name it. I've seen every weenie I could imagine looking at. And you know what? I really don't give a crap about your weenie. It's just a weenie. It means NOTHING to see a photo of it. What are YOU like as a man? Do you know how to make love? A photo doesn't tell me that. But, your email does.
And yes, there are those guys out there that want to shock us or just play with us, by sending photos. But I have to say, you don't shock us or scare us. You just come across like a fucking idiot who is overly concerned with your dick. You are the first to be deleted and we just sigh and wonder what the fuck your mother did to you. Think about it, freaky boy.
Anyway...
Your email tells me if you are intelligent, if you are a man of manners, if you are fun, if you have a working brain that has been used recently.
Your email tells me a great deal about you. And if you send me an email that is lazy and stupid, then I figure you are lazy and stupid and I don't want to meet you.
Your email tells me if you are capable of conversation, if you are an interesting person. Your email tells me if you are confident, if you have a working brain, if you are a man who knows what he wants, but also knows how to please a woman.
And yeah, I've read plenty of board notes from the guys who don't care if you are a good companion or not, they want to screw and get off, and get out. If you are that type, I have absolutely no desire to see you. I don't need your money and I don't need you panting and drooling on my back. You bore the crap out of me. Find out the difference in an escort and a GFE. That will be another blog, I can feel it now.
I'm not in a relationship or marriage and I don't want to be. But this is my social time and I want to enjoy it. If you are a boring idiot, I don't want to spend time with you. I want to feel like I'm on a great date, without expectations, strings or hassles. I'm like a guy with great boobs and lips. Well, not totally. I think like a guy. I want to have fun with you, then not worry about you. I'm sexual, I am intelligent, I'm fun and open. But I don't want to meet your mother.
I do try to educate the guys who write me the lousy emails that wear me out. I sometimes take time to respond and tell them how they might improve their chances of a response. Sometimes they thank me. Usually, they respond with even worse drivel that makes me wish they would be struck by a bus. Better, a bus driven by an even bigger idiot than they are. Such is poetic justice.
Newbies come into our world in droves. The good clients find good providers and they don't often go looking for others. My clients are good guys that want a date experience. They enjoy sitting and sharing wine or scotch and talking and witty conversation. Conversation that is just fun and light and without worry. Our fun time is an extension of that. We have common ground and we just get a feeling of how to please each other. It works.
My clients enjoy my fantastic oral talents, and I really get into that when I've had a good time upfront. So, they benefit. We both benefit. Because I am one of the few women that gets off giving oral. They take some time to let me know they are a being of some substance, and I show my appreciation for that.
And I thoroughly enjoy it. Thoroughly.
So, when you contact a lady, unless you are just a big woody wanting to get off as quickly as possible, take a bit of time to introduce yourself. Save your photos for later, or for some silly home video website where you can be ogled and laughed at. If you are a guy who knows this business, and you and your buddies are talking about it over beer and sweaty jockstraps, pass on the information about how you contact a lady in the business. Please.
And, don't forget, we are ladies. We just enjoy our sexuality and we know what we want. We won't ever be a pain in your ass. We, those who love our sexuality, know what we are. And it is not a 'ho' or a tramp or someone that is not worthy of respect or consideration. Rather, we are more fulfilled than most. We know how to pleasure you and ourselves. We are not rugs to have feet wiped upon, we are women that love our bodies, our needs and our dates. We just decide how to run our lives and all the world can get fucked for all we care. We are like men, but we are women. We want just like you do, but we have standards. I see men that interest me. Most of us do, anyway. The man who thinks we are 'tramps' or a 'ho', is even lower in self-esteem than those who respond to him. He considers himself the belly of the snake in the rut. That type of guy strives to feel better by finding women who feel like less than he is. Like they deserve his shallow, stupid insights. In reality, he is the lowest of the low.
So when you write to a lady, be polite. Use entire words, not abbreviations. Show her that you have some ability with the english language. Show her that you have ability, education, and imagination. At least write like you made it through the 8th grade. Then, you will capture her imagination, and it makes for a very satisfying encounter. Be the kind of person you would want someone to respond to. Be the kind of person that deserves response.
Otherwise, just look for an idiot and don't bother people like me. Go get some bimbo that doesn't have a brain and leave me the hell alone.
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