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Playing Catch Up!
Jax is still the same but it's not so bad now. I'm getting used to it I guess. I still find it kind of boring but now that I am taking online courses I have been to busy to notice how boring it. I go out occasionally to a movie but other than I keep to myself. I guess I am feeling more focused. Right now work and school are my top priorities.
I'm hoping at some point I will be able to travel. I think that would be cool. Plus I really need to get back to NOLA. I get e mails still from regs even though I haven't been back since Katrina. I just don't feel ready to face it and not to mention alone. I'm not sure what my reaction would be and on the off chance I lose it. I shouldn't be alone.
I have been feeling much better and less depressed lately. I finally found a stress reliever that works for me. I go to the gun range and pop off a few rounds. I am so serious. It's like therapy for me anyway. I used to be terrified of gun wouldn't touch one. But someone suggested I thought what the hell. I went and I loved it. It's like wow. The weird thing is I am good at it.
I have been trying to talk Ashley into coming Florida. She could some rays on her copper tone booty. I need to start spending more time around people before I end up a recluse. I make friends but they all end up being users or back stabbers. And I just don't need that in my life. I'd rather be alone.
I have really gotten back into my horror collecting. I stopped for a long time. I couldn't afford it. But now things I straightening I can indulge in a little. I posted a pic of one of my latest editions. Well maybe not latest I got it around Halloween. of last year. I probably wouldn't have bought knowing I was going to be moving the following month but what can you do. Suck it up and move on. I have attached a pic. Yea it is 6 foot Leatherface. I get asked a lot about how my clients react. Most are pretty cool and like the fact I am unique. I also thought if I got psycho he would seriously have to consider if I might be more psycho than him even though I am harmless.
Well I was bored thought I would make a little update. I miss everyone. I'm going to start back blogging more. I really miss it.
 
Just some Simple Random Thoughts!
Things have been in a whirl wind since I started school. I don't feel like I have time for anything else even though its just part time. It's kinda cool though my mind is focusing on something else besides all the tragedies. I am off all most all medication for post traumatic stress after Katrina. I still take anti anxiety for panic attacks.
I am purging again getting rid of stuff not being used. I have so much stuff. It's hard to believe I have accumulated so much stuff in such a short period of time. I'm starting to feel cluttered again and I hate that feeling. Clutter around the house also tends to bring clutter to the mind. So I am working things out right now.
On a fun note and I know I am the only person who cares but in Novemeber they had Horrorfest for weekend in limited theaters. They called Horrorfest 8 films to die for If you haven't checked them out already look for the Horrorfest movies. They are awesome..well most of them anyway. The one they did not release with the set was by far the worse one. My favorites are in the order as follows The Gravedancers, Unrest, Dark Ride, Wicked Little Things, The Hamitons, and Penny Dreadful. I'm not sure about Reincarnation as I have not watched that one yet. I have to be in the right frame of mind for a foreign movie.
I went to see The Reaping. I was not impressed at all. I was disappointed. I love Dark Castle. I plan to go see Grindhouse. It only grossed 11 million opening weekend. I think their were complaints about it being to long. People when do we ever get to see two for one. Christ The Titanic was 3 hours long and it was one movie. So I don't see what the big deal is. I'm so glad Rose McGowan is in it. I have loved her for a long time and I am talking before the movie Scream.
I think I am going to find a roommate preferably someone in the same business as me. I can't exactly live with a 9-5er. It's just hard to decide. I lived with people and it was awesome. But I have had more bad experiences than good ones. My place is so big and it would definitely cut down on cost. I could put more money towards school. So far in the four classes I have taken I have three A's and B. I suck at English. I love to write but when I get excited it pours out. People say use Microsoft Word but Word does not catch every mistake. But the roommate thing is still up in the air. Besides who wants to live in Jacksonville.
Well I am done rambling. I hope all you ladies and gents have been well. I miss you all.
Amaya
It's Been Awhile
Yea I know it's been awhile. I did drop off the face of the Earth for awhile it seems. I am still here. It had just been the most hectic past 6 months I have had in awhile. I'm still in Jacksonville. I just live in a new area. So I moved. If I didn't mention it in a previous blog I finally got a car. I got a 2007 Toyota Yarius Sport. It's nice and you can't beat the gas mileage.
I haven't been providing as much but I am slowly getting back into things. I just got burnt out not just from the providing but life in general. It's like everything just caught up with me all at once. I'm trying to build a better life for myself but I seem to encounter obstacle after obstacle.
I have also started online for Medical Billing and Insurance Coding. It's not my first choice but I figured one skill is better than no skill. I'm still young so I still have time to figure out what it is I want to do in the long run. I hope. School has been cake so far. I hope it stays that way even though I'm sure it will only get harder.
The men in my life or the lack there of I am back to being single again. I dated a guy for awhile. He turned out to be jerk. I suppose what can you expect from a recovering alcoholic/addict. Once again I think I can step in and save the world. I call it my Jesus complex. I always pick up guys like that. Except my main man who is not really my man but I love him and he loves me. He takes care of me and has been so supportive so I can't really ask for more than that.
Anyway I just wanted to do a quick update for those wondering if I had died or what not. Ha..no such luck. :)
Feeling Really Good!
So I guess I'm tired of bitching in every blog either that or my med have kicked in. I'm just so over everything. I just cut people out of my life who I find are using me. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. So you all know who you are. If I can cut my mom off I can certainly cut anybody else.
Speaking of my mother she is coming over to spend the night and spend the day with me tomorrow. I sent her yet another e mail explaining my feelings. I was just straight. She always goes on her little spill about living for herself blah blah blah. I'm like haven't you been doing that all along. You certainly haven't been doing anything for your kids. I said I recalled growing up. I told her didn't you think it was weird a girl of my age spent all day in her room or at the library. I was reading on adult level by age eight. I started getting books from the adult side of the library at that age because I had read everything in the children's section. The librian was nice enough to let me check out from other side. Of course she monitored what I read. But I think it says something when your kid can sit in her room for hours and polish off 3 or 4 adult books in one sitting. Well we will see what she has to say. I knew she wasn't sincere to begin with really about coming over. She started poor mouthing about gas. So she wants money. She knows I have it. But guess what I'm rich bitch. And I'm not giving anyone shit I don't feel is worthy and truly have my well being in mind.
Worthy people Ashley I would give that girl the shirt off my back. She saw after me during and after Katrina. And I love doing stuff for her. My personal favorite is the Dooney and Bourke swap. I buy each of us a new Dooney for winter and summer. I just think its fun that I can finally give something back. I like doing things for people on my own accord and not because I feel obiligated. It wasn't that long ago I didn't have a pot to piss or window to throw it out. And I will be eternally grateful to all the escorts and clients who helped me out when I was in need after Katrina. And I will always be there whenever you need me.
On to other things I just commissioned this wonderful artist to do a portrait of me. I purchased some of his stuff off Ebay. I got a Bettie Page picture as well as Frida Kahlo. We talked like we had known each other forever. I guess since we're both from New Orleans. I asked if he would paint me. He said yes. I'm going to put some of his work in this blog so you can see. You can also check out my member's site www.ebonybbwpinupdoll.com for some other work in my blog there. He is fantastic. He's super cute too. I wish he liked big black girls. I'm going to go ahead and put his link in here too. He's willing to work with any girl. His rates are reasonable. If you decide you're interested tell him Amaya sent you. I added a picture of some work he has done. He did this really kick ass Bettie Page screen. The one with the screen that's him....YUM! And of course when he finishes mine I will put it up.
Check it out I only spoke of Katrina once...Give that girl a Klondike Bar!
Website: www.oceanclark.com
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