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The "A" Hole Tastes Funny
Hahaha! Consider your funny boner tickled!
Website: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmpisOn4FmE
 
Be Gentle It's My First Time...And Other Truths
How does one even begin an introduction? I've come to the realization that "hi, I'm fabulous" is not always the best route. This is my first posting as a blogger on this site and therefore I think that I should introduce myself. Hi, I'm Holland. I like long walks on the beach, harlequin romance novels and fruity alcoholic drinks with tiny straws...okay, not really...haha! I like scotch, the smell of cigars (occasionally the taste), and weekly mani-pedis! I adore being feminine and all the little perks of being a woman. Since this is my first time I think that it's only appropriate that I talk about 'first times'. I have to say that my first time was anticlimactic on every possible level, but that is a story that I will save for another time. The first time that I came to Chicago I knew that I wanted nothing more than to leave my small town behind for the bright lights of the big city. I loved everything about Chicago. I loved the traffic. I loved the crowded sidewalks of Michigan Ave. I loved the beautiful window displays in all of the stores. I loved the guy who played the saxophone on the corner (badly, I might add). Chicago was beautiful and she was going to be mine. It was eleven years later that I claimed this amazing city as my home. However, winters here are cruel punishment for the over enjoyment of our three incredible other seasons. It's a painful lashing that I endure gleefully, but I'm relieved that it's drawing to a close. In fact I couldn't be happier that spring, and more importantly summer, is approaching. This city comes alive when the trees are full of leaves and the lake is warm and inviting, and so do it's inhabitants. We hibernate all winter waiting for that burst of color and the first truly warm day. I'm looking forward to sidewalk dining, afternoon margaritas, and pedicured toes in sexy sandals. Until then, I'll be bent over screaming with joy that spring is almost here.
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