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Fast Car
"you got a fast car...i got a plan to get us out of here been working at the convenient store..manage to save a little bit of money and wont have to drive too far..just cross the border and into the city and you and I can finally see what it means to be living" Traci Chapman
I wrote a whiny blog last night,. strung out from the road and hassles and no sleep,half drunk . Today I wake up and I have an appointment on the way! As well as my birth certificate from my mom etc so things will get sooo better. Nice. I can only take so much now time to crawl up out the bucket. Thank God!
Tomorrow I may have my apartment already so yay! Of course with no id etc now it will go in someone elses name, but I got peeps. I can get anything I want. It is so good to be close to Mexico again.
You should see me, i am browner than a brownie(taste better too..hee hee)
Website: http://www.p411.com
 
turn the page
" you walk into the restaurant, strung out from the road and you feel the eyes upon you as you shaking off the cold...you pretend it doesnt bother you, but you just want to explode....here i am ..on the road again "
After two days of exhaustive driving I have arrived in Austin Texas. Mind you before I hit Little Rock the air conditioner went out and with three cats, 3 rats and a snake it was awful. I was so worried about them and so strung out from the road i was shaking and delirious. But as I pumped my last gas outside Waco, TX I thought ah i have me apartment waiting. When i went in to pay my gas i found my entire wallet stolen as well as my ids and passports. Now i am in Austin at a shitty motel praying for a miracle ........
Once i get set up i will be fine. I found someone else to put an apt in my name for me as I have ruined my credit giving up everything to care for my dying grandpa , only to be left nothing but 2 more guns. My rich backwater psychotic aunt i never see from florida came suddenly even though she hated my grandfather and cashed in his trucks and motorcycles, but not before i took the moto out for one last run. I help my grandpas hand as he died and said go, picture the wind in our hair and sun on our face as we sing celito l indo on the moto... he heaved a last breath, dosed with tthe morphine i had to feed him every two hours for almost a month losing lots of sleep and my sanity. He died peacefully. An hour before he did he put a hand up and with only use of two fingers pointed at my grandma and flipped her off. I shooed her out of his room and helped him across. But where is my good karma for giving up my braces, my CCs my apartment and everything ? Nowhere in fact my grandmas backwater daughter accused me of stealing a 10 year old laptop that didnt work. in anger and dismay i ,missed the funeral and got pulled over drinking instead. I got off. The wouldnt stop until i reached my grandparents driveway and being a small town the cop could still see the tracks where the funeral home pulled up to the front door and took the body, he let me off with a seat belt ticket, whicxh i was wearing. I cried and cussed as the last hospice nurse came to the house to monitor my pouring out all the liquid morph and valium....i guess they have to but i would never take it. I still havent cried for my grandpa and am now in texas at a motel 6 without a cent and no cat food and 3 hungry cats. it sucks. I deserve better than then this but i tell myself......i did the best thing for my strong tough grandpa, taking him out of the nursing home against doctors orders, having the hospital bed delivered and learning oxygen and liquid dosing. Gawd peeps i have been through hell.
But who hasnt ? I need to find some new friends down here quick so i can make some money and not be homeless it is too hot for my cats.......on the other hand i met an awesome black creole woman named red that i seen knock a girl across a street, and i sit and drank with her and laughed and let loose.....I am so lost and forlorn..........
anyhoo my next blog post will be better hopefully but i have burned all my bridges considering moving etc..not moving but in the sense of cant hit mom or GM up for moremoney. I pawned all my gold.
Just checking in, hot and thirsty in Austin and i miss Kwasi and shamey and JT and Caitlin and EVERYONE! ACK! What is a girl to do...i paid for internet access with change from my car...ha.....my cats are hungry but i try to find some more change for them. I am dark, skinny, sick and half neurotic and nothing fits me..my butcrack hangs out and i am forever pulling up my pants! Email me if you love me and tell me something inspiring!
SHOUT OUT TO SCARLETT IN SF....she sent me the most bomb ass beautiful homeade bracelet of rose quartz....just to be nice to me... THANK YOU< LOVE IT wearing it now.....
but damn life sucks.....at least I am not in Somalia ....but gawd help me...........where is Jesus ? He is around my neck but he is not helping me ! I wish i was Jewish
Website: http://www.generosa-goodhand.com
The stars at Night
"are big and bright deep in the heart of Texas"(i have no fucking clue )
So i am indecisive.. my perception of reality has been...at best..warped like a cd left in the sun too long. I know I said I was coming back to Chicago , but things change and I am moving to Texas first thing in the morning. I am going to miss everyone. I will miss hanging out with Alena, Shameless, Caitlin, JT, I will miss all of them but will look forward to seeing and chatting still with intergalacatical princess, Zora y Holly..Mikkifine..and the rest of you lovelies...... and SOUP QUEEN(Ciara) ..we can all still chat on here. I've gone through a major change ..and now i am Headed out west, to Dallas.
Spontaneous as a confused hummingbird, i flit here and there and finally i found a place to rest my tired wings........ tomorrow i will be gone from illinois all together.
My grandmother has offered i move in and aide her as my grandfather is passed but I am numb to her pain , twisted by mine. I need to go. I am going ....I am going West. You are all with me.
this is me 10 minutes ago in the stix...being freaky with boys a decade younger then me ( and a girl )
Website: http://groups.google.com/group/diary-of-a-cal
Get on the good foot (james Brown )
things are settling down for me. I am in the south, but plan to visit Chicago soon. For awhile one day drifted into the next and blended into another as i watched the old man die and now he is buried and he is at peace and I nearly am.
I'm going canoeing today. Lots of rivers and thigns to do here but everyone has bad teeth and no money. It's empoverishment and I havent had a pedicure in a few moons... ACK~! YIPE!
Hell ya'll sumbitch ... I'm gonna go drink me a Pabst Blue Ribbon I tell ya what.
Website: http://www.Generosa-Goodhand.com
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